Media Messages

We all know that “reality TV” is the new norm for network television, but what we don’t know is that its effect on children, particularly girls, is extremely detrimental.  The Girl Scout Research Institute conducted a survey of nearly 1,150 girls, ages 11-17, to find what their thoughts were about their favorite types of programming and how television changes the way they think about themselves and their lives.  The findings were disturbing; here is what they found:

Of girls surveyed, regular reality TV viewers* differ dramatically from their non-viewing peers in their expectations of peer relationships, their overall self-image, and their understanding of how the world works. The findings also suggest that reality TV can function in the lives of girls as a learning tool and as inspiration for getting involved in social causes.

Finding 1: Relationship Drama

All of the girls in the study feel that reality shows promote bad behavior.  The vast majority think these shows “often pit girls against each other to make the shows more exciting” (86%), “make people think that fighting is a normal part of a romantic relationship” (73%), and “make people think it’s okay to treat others badly" (70%).

Regular reality TV viewers accept and expect a higher level of drama, aggression, and bullying in their own lives as well. They are considerably more likely than non-viewers to agree that:

­  “Gossiping is a normal part of a relationship between girls”(78% vs. 54%);

­  “It’s in girls’ nature to be catty and competitive with one another”(68% vs. 50%); and

­  “It’s hard for me to trust other girls”(63% vs. 50%).   

Regarding boys, regular reality TV viewers are more likely than non-viewers to say “girls often have to compete for a guy’s attention”(74% vs. 63%).  As well, they admit they are happier when they are dating someone or have a boyfriend/significant other(49% vs. 28%).

Finding 2: Two Sides to Self-Image

In the study, we found that girls who view reality TV regularly are more focused on the value of physical appearance. 

• Seventy-two percent say they spend a lot of time on their appearance (vs. 42% of non-viewers).
•   More than a third (38%)think that a girl’s value is based on how she looks (compared to 28% of non-viewers).
•   They would rather be recognized for their outer beauty than their inner beauty (28% vs.18% of non-viewers).

At the same time, regular reality TV viewers are more confident than non-viewers.

­  This group of girls is more self-assured than non-viewers when it comes to virtually every personal characteristic we asked girls about, with the                           

­  majority of regular reality TV viewers considering themselves mature, a good influence, smart, funny, and outgoing.

­  They are more likely than non-viewers to both aspire to leadership (46% vs. 27%) and to think they are currently seen as a leader(75% vs. 63%).

­  In addition, they are more likely to see themselves as role models for other girls (75% vs. 61%).

Finding 3: Success = Meanness + Lying

The research indicates that regular reality TV viewers emphasize being mean and/or lying to get ahead.  A higher percentage of these girls as compared to their non-viewing counterparts claim that sometimes:

­  “You have to lie to get what you want”(37% vs. 24%);

­  “Being mean earns you more respect than being nice”(37% vs. 25%); and

­  “You have to be mean to others to get what you want”(28% vs.18%).

Even though these findings are negative, there are some positive effects:

Finding 4: Positive Spin-Offs

In the study, the benefits of reality TV most frequently noted by all girls were opening the lines of communication, serving as a learning and motivational tool, and encouraging girls to be active in social causes.

­  Seventy-five percent of girls say that reality shows have inspired conversation with their parents and/or friends.

­  Many girls receive inspiration and comfort from reality TV, with 68% agreeing that reality shows “make me think I can achieve anything in life” and 48% that they “help me realize there are people out there like me.”

­  Seventy-five percent of girls say that reality TV depicts people with different backgrounds and beliefs. Furthermore, 65% say such shows introduce new ideas and perspectives, 62% say the shows have raised their awareness of social issues and causes, and 59% have been taught new things that they wouldn’t have learned about otherwise.

Whatever the television programs – or other media messages - might be, it’s critical that girls have a strong notion of right and wrong, know that what they see on television is largely artificial, and recognize that their actions now will affect their futures.  This is just one of the strong positive findings of our Chrysalis After-School program, and we can be proud that when compared with other girls their age across the state, Chrysalis participants report higher levels of this type of resilience than non-participants.

December 7th

The meaning of “December 7” may be different for those of us not old enough to remember WW II and the attack on Pearl Harbor.  It happens to be a day that reminds us of the many Americans now at war, particularly an increasing number of women.

We know that the US Defense Department now bans women from participating in ground combat (although there is now a federal lawsuit to overturn this ban).  But with about 14% of our military personnel being women, a disturbing new finding is that women in general are more likely to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) than men.  Up to twice as likely, some researchers posit.

Post-traumatic stress disorder did not exist as a “formal” diagnosis until 1980, when it was added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.  Prior to this, the terms shell shock, battle fatigue, or post-Vietnam syndrome were names given to various and severe adjustment problems experienced by recent war veterans.

A recent study at the San Francisco VA Medical Center found that women and men “learn” to fear differently.  This “fear conditioning” is vital to our safety, but in people with PTSD, a simple stimulus might trigger this stress or fear response.  Trash on the side of the road, or the smell of gasoline or fire may get associated with an actual traumatic military experience.  When female and male veterans were tested for reactions ranging from increased heart rate to rapid breathing when shown disturbing or violent images – and several of the images were paired with a slight electric shock,  women had more significant reactions.  The researchers believe this demonstrates that women may learn fear responses from different mechanisms, which may make them more susceptible to PTSD.

Patricia Resick and other researchers in the Women’s Health Sciences Division of the National Center for PTSD at Boston University are also seeking answers.  The group has linked significant diagnoses of PTSD to the types of trauma military women experience.  “In general, sexual trauma is a more significant risk for PTSD than combat or the types of trauma males in the military experience,” she reports.  “Combats, car accidents, or fights are impersonal events; when women are traumatized, it is often caused by the people who are supposed to love or protect them.”  When a fellow officer or commanding officer attacks a woman, the result is much more severe.

Sexual assault and severe sexual harassment - collectively known as military sexual trauma (MST) - is nearly epidemic in the armed service today . Amy Street, an assistant professor of psychiatry who leads a VA support team devoted to the issue, says that VA screenings for MST, mandated since 1992 for every veteran, reveal that 20%  of servicewomen report sexual assaults or severe, threatening harassment, compared to 1% percent of men.  And the numbers, she says, are most likely a gross underestimate. 

Many women veterans report that the sense of betrayal is compounded, and the trauma and shame intensified, when the chain of command fails to act on a reported incident, minimizes it, or even punishes women who report assaults.  Even reservists, the military part-timers who serve two weeks a year and one weekend a month, experience “high and impactful” rates of MST, among both women and men.  “So even people who had other lives outside of the military tended to experience a lot of harassment and assault,” Resick notes, “and even 10 or 20 years later, those experiences were associated with higher rates of depression, poorer functioning, and higher rates of PTSD.”

There’s much more to learn about the compounded effects of PTSD on both women veterans and women in the general population.  Because society doesn’t yet know how to understand the symptoms of PTSD in women, it’s much harder for them to find equilibrium.  And even with support from home, many female veterans also struggle because many do not see them as “real” veterans.

Since PTSD, its symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment may be very different for women than for men, it’s our work to raise awareness about this and other issues facing women and girls today.  Thank you for being a leader in this effort.

Safety

This has been an eye-opening week for us – Brooke and I attended the Governor’s Summit on Bullying on Tuesday, and I’m still reeling from today’s Chrysalis Roundtable presentation, THREATS TO YOUTH ONLINE, presented by Mike Ferjak, Senior Criminal Investigator with the Iowa Department of Justice.  I had heard Mike give a presentation at a mother-daughter event several years ago, and was astounded about how frequently – and how easily – a young person can fall into the throes of a predator online.

Here are just a few statistics:

­  One in five U.S. teenagers who regularly log on to the internet says they have received an unwanted sexual solicitation via the Web.  Solicitations were defined as requests to engage in sexual activities or sexual talk, or to give personal sexual information.  Crimes Against Children Research Center

­  25% of children have been exposed to unwanted pornographic material online.  Crimes Against Children Research Center

­  Only 1/3 of households with internet access are actively protecting their children with filtering or blocking software.  Center for Missing and Exploited Children

­  75% of children are willing to share personal information online about themselves and their family in exchange for goods and services.  eMarketer

­  Only approximately 25% of children who encountered a sexual approach or solicitation told a parent or adult.  Crimes Against Children Research Center

­  One in 33 youth received an aggressive sexual solicitation in the past year. This means a predator asked a young person to meet somewhere, called a young person on the phone, and/or sent the young person correspondence, money, or gifts through the U.S. Postal Service.  Youth internet Safety Survey

­  77% of the targets for online predators were age 14 or older. Another 22% were users ages 10 to 13.  Crimes Against Children Research Center

 

In his position, Ferjak works for the Iowa Attorney General and has a permanent assignment to the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation’s (DCI) Cyber-Crime Unit where he serves on the Federal Internet Crimes Against Children (ICAC) Task Force.  Mike is also assigned to the Attorney General’s Human Trafficking enforcement and prosecution initiative.  He has served as the lead investigator for the Sexually Violent Predator Unit in the Attorney General’s Office, and with his knowledge and experience, is called upon by law enforcement, judicial, professional, community, and school groups across the country to provide up-to-the-minute facts on why this is such a significant problem.

Some predators use the anonymity of the internet to prey on vulnerable children and teens, whose internet access is often unsupervised.  Activities include exchanging child pornography or seeking victims online.  The internet allows them to share images and information about children and to make and stay in contact with them.  Predators are  present on children's chat rooms, frequently pretending to be children themselves.  Some actively arrange meetings with children, going to extraordinary efforts and incurring large travel and other expenses…the stories are endless and shocking.

How are the youth victimized?  By innocently becoming entangled in an online relationship with someone who represents him or herself as a young, attractive, interesting and thoughtful person.  Adults establish "friendships" with children online, then attempt to arrange a face-to-face meeting, potentially to sexually abuse or exploit the child.  They may then make online arrangements for the exchange, sale or purchase of child pornography (the actual exchange or delivery occurs through the mail, hand-to-hand exchanges, e-mail, and other electronic means) , or arrangements between adults seeking sexual access to children and adults willing to provide and/or trade children for sexual purposes.

Ferjack reports there are an estimated 130,000 sex offenders using MYSPACE (precursor to Facebook), and that the average age group sought for sex trafficking purposes is 11-14 year olds.  And 14% of child pornography online involves infants – birth to 12 months old.

If you are a parent, friend, teacher, or interested adult, here are some internet safety tips to deliver to the children in your life:

­  Avoid unfamiliar "Chat Rooms".  Chat rooms are places where many people can gather and discuss various topics of mutual interest all at one time.

­  Don't talk to people online that you don't know.   Offenders can easily fool others.

­  Never use your real name, age, or indication of your gender in your screen name or email address.   The most prevalent internet crime today is cyber stalking.

­  Never post personal information in a user profile.  Public resources available online can lead an offender to learn much more about you through internet searching.

­  Use an up-to-date firewall.   A firewall will block hackers’ “pre-attack probes,” called port scans.  A firewall should also block traffic or communications from a virus that made it onto your computer through your personal information.

­  Use an up-to-date virus scanner.  Most virus scanners will automatically add virus definitions. Update definitions once a week to have the most current definitions to detect the latest viruses.

­  Use Windows Update. Windows Update provides patches for known vulnerabilities in Windows and other Microsoft products.  Windows Update can be automated to check and install patches automatically.

­  Avoid opening email from someone you don't know, even email from known persons with unexpected or unusual attachments.

­  Report any incidents to the internet Crime Complaint Center (www.ic3.gov).

If you are aware of a child you suspect or believe is in immediate risk of being harmed or exploited, contact your local law enforcement agency and report the situation to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at www.cybertipline.com.

If you have information concerning a missing child, report it to your local law enforcement agency and contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678).

We so appreciate Chrysalis Board member, Lieutenant Joe Gonzalez, for his leadership in connecting this vital information to us and to our friends.  And because there is so much more to online abuse and bullying, we will schedule another presentation by Mike Ferjak to share more information on bullying and social networking.  After the first of the year, we’ll notify you of the time and place.

Please take time to forward this information to friends – there is no reason not to.

The Women and Men of Thanksgiving

Many of us know the most familiar story of the first Thanksgiving took place in Plymouth Colony, in present-day Massachusetts, in 1621.  But it took more than 200 years for President Abraham Lincoln to declare the final Thursday in November as a national day of thanksgiving in 1863, and only in 1941 did the U.S. Congress finally made Thanksgiving Day an official national holiday.

This may never have occurred were it not for a strong and confident woman: Sara Josepha Hale.

Sarah J. Hale, a poet and novelist, became editor of the Ladies' Magazine in 1828.  In 1837 the Ladies' Magazine became known as the Lady's Book, still led by Hale until 1877.  During her tenure as editor, Hale made the magazine the most recognized and influential periodical for women, and was involved in numerous philanthropic pursuits.  She used her position as editor to advocate the education of women. 

For 15 years, Hale waged a campaign to make Thanksgiving a national holiday.  But not until she enlisted the help of President Lincoln did her campaign succeed.

In 1939, toward the end of the Great Depression, the last Thursday of November was going to be November 30, and retailers complained to President Franklin D. Roosevelt that this only left 24 shopping days to Christmas.  Begging FDR to move Thanksgiving just one week earlier, it was hoped that Christmas shoppers would have the extra week to purchase more. 

When FDR issued his Thanksgiving Proclamation in 1939, he declared that Thanksgiving would be held the second-to-last Thursday of the month, causing a tremendous uproar – calendars were incorrect, school holidays had to be rescheduled, even football schedules had to be redone.  His political opponents questioned the right of a president to changing a holiday, even coining the holiday name as “Franksgiving.”

Twenty-three states followed the presidential order and changed the date for Thanksgiving, and 23 other states kept the traditional date.  Colorado and Texas decided to honor both dates as holidays.  In 1941, Roosevelt again announced Thanksgiving to be the second-to-last Thursday of the month, and 31 states honored the earlier date while 17 maintained the tradition by celebrating the last Thursday of November.

Lincoln had established Thanksgiving to bring our country together, but the confusion was tearing the country apart until Congress passed a law on December 26, 1941 that Thanksgiving would now occur annually on the 4^th Thursday in November.

(Another woman, artist Margaret Cusack, provided the design of a commemorative Thanksgiving stamp issued by the U.S. Postal Service in 2001.  It was a style resembling traditional folk-art needlework, depicting a cornucopia overflowing with fruits and vegetables under the phrase “We Give Thanks.”)

We are thankful for the passion and leadership each of you – women and men – give to the work of Chrysalis.  From each of us, our best wishes for a lovely and relaxing holiday.

Gen X Philanthropy

Many may think that the Generation-Xers are just beginning to understand philanthropy.  According to a recent article in US News, for many young professionals, giving to charity isn't just about writing checks.  Instead, the focus is on volunteering, socializing, and networking -- while also contributing to good causes.

"Many Generation X-ers are more interested in social advocacy and engagement philanthropy," says Dwight Burlingame, associate executive director at the Center on Philanthropy at Indiana University. That means they are more likely to want to work directly with organizations instead of just donating money, he explains.

Interestingly, the Center notes that giving rates rise with education levels: 90% of persons with graduate degrees contribute to charity, while only 58% of persons with high school educations or less do.  And the average annual gift for a college graduate is $2,633, it reports.

But some young people want to do more - they want to get involved.  For example, Lindsay Hyde.  During her freshman year at Harvard, she wanted to become a mentor to younger girls in the area, but when she looked into potential opportunities, she couldn't find any groups willing to work with undergraduates.  So she organized her own team of volunteers and found two elementary schools interested in working with them.  When Hyde graduated from college in 2000, she officially launched a nonprofit which now works with over 400 girls a year in Boston, Pittsburgh, and Miami.

Strong Women, Strong Girls uses lessons learned from strong women throughout history to encourage girls and young women to become strong women themselves.  The curriculum focuses both on elementary age and college age young women, recognizing that both ages really need many of the same experiences and education.  Three basic tenets form the curriculum:

RELATIONSHIPS:  Research which shows that girls and young women need supportive relationships in order to thrive.  For elementary girls, the relationships form with college women, with peers, and with program leaders.  The young women in college form relationships with the younger girls and with peers, but also with participating college advisors and one adult mentor, who is paired with the college student each year.

SKILLS:  Younger girls need help developing social and emotional skills, while the young women develop leadership and professional skills including resume writing and interviewing.

ROLE MODELS:  A role model helps girls develop aspirations for the future - both through the experience with college students and through reading a weekly biography of a women in history.  College students learn from professional women and field experts, who can assist in their preparation for a career.

Strong Women, Strong Girls has developed a range of resources for individuals and organizations interested in working with girls and young women.  It also has tracked its success, based on participant surveys and academic achievement.

This program is similar to Chrysalis After-School programs because it intentionally brings in college age women who develop mentoring relationships with the girls.  This year, Chrysalis will begin a formal high school mentoring program, designed to teach the high school girls ("graduates" of Chrysalis After-School) how to develop relationships with younger girls, how to be a role model, and how to instruct about specific skills important to their healthy development.

We look forward to reporting on the success of this program at the end of the academic year.  And we're delighted to have your support and leadership in continuing the work of building future women leaders through Chrysalis After-School.  We’re in 30 schools this year, half elementary, half middle schools – in Des Moines, Indianola, Bondurant, Saydel, Southeast Polk, and Urbandale.  Between 500 and 600 girls and approximately 65 facilitators take part in weekly meetings, with specific curricula created by Chrysalis for the following:

GIRLSTRONG!                  Health and wellness

ON THE MONEY             Financial literacy

BRAINCAKE                      Science, technology, engineering, and math

DRAKE PHARMACY     Safe use of prescription and over-the-counter medicines

ProjectSTOP                     Violence prevention

Thank you for all you give to Chrysalis.

Election History

I’m certain that “election exhaustion” finally hit us all this week, and we’re happy to never see a scowling politician’s face or hear the ominous background music of the thousands of negative ads.

Today, our Board President sent me an article that share some brighter news from election results:

­  20 women were elected to the U.S. Senate – the most ever

­  77 women (with a few races still uncertain) were elected to the House of Representatives

­  the first Asian-American woman, Mazie Hirono, was elected to the Senate – she is also the first Senator born in Japan and Buddhist

­  Massachusetts has elected its first female Senator, Elisabeth Warren

­  a 31-year-old female Iraqi war veteran, Tulsi Gabbard, who is also Hindu, was elected to Congress

­  Tammy Baldwin, the first openly gay person, and the first woman Wisconsin has elected, has a new seat in the Senate

­  Iraqi war veteran and triple amputee Tammy Duckworth take a seat in Congress

­  Claire McCaskill defeated Todd Akin to retain her seat

­  New Hampshire, which elected a female governor this year, will send the first all-female congressional delegation to Washington

2012 is also a year setting a record in the number of 28 minority women elected: 13 African American, 9 Latinas, and 6 Asian/Pacific Islanders.

The Huffington Post summarized women’s impact on the election:  Women proved once and for all that female voters are paying attention, and that their support wins elections.  Obama would not have been able to win the election without the support from women – female voters made up 54% of the electorate and favored the President by 11%, resulting in an 18-point gender gap.

In a country that is more than half female (50.8%) with an electorate over half, one in five Senators will be women, and 18.13% of Representatives will be female – nearly an 8% increase since the 2008 election.

We’ve come a long way since Jeannette Rankin was elected as the first female in Washington in 1917…but there’s a long way yet to go.

Jeannette Rankin (right) on April 2, 1917, with Carrie Chapman Catt, president of the National American Woman Suffrage Association, at the group’s headquarters in Washington, D.C. Later that historic day, Rankin was officially sworn into the 65th Congress.

To read the article from policymic:  http://www.policymic.com/articles/18780/mazie-hirono-and-tammy-duckworth-women-make-history-on-election-night

Thank you for working on behalf of 50.8% of our population with 110% of your energy.

Gender Pay Disparity

Terry Hernandez, Executive Director of Chrysalis, just completed a television interview with WHO TV13 regarding the continued gender pay disparity.  When she asked the reporter what prompted interest in this issue, she noted the report in today's DES MOINES REGISTER listing salaries of state employees.

Once again, we need to count down to the 21st name on this list to find the first female: women's head basketball coach Lisa Bluder.  This is distressing enough, but our frustration should be compounded by the fact that her annual salary is less than half the salary of the lowest paid men's head basketball coach - and in this case, former men's basketball coach Todd Lickliter.

In the recently- released report SHE MATTERS, it was reported that in Iowa, women still make only 79% of what a man with equal education and experience is paid.  Calculating what this inequity means in today's dollars, if a woman (average salary $34,534) were to use the dollars represented by the gap (average salary for a man is $43,872), she could buy one of the following:

- 2,312 more gallons of gasoline

- 82 more weeks worth of groceries

- 14 more months of rent payments

- 8 more months of mortgage and utility payments

- 29 more months of family health insurance premiums

Today Chrysalis presented this information - in addition to the other disparities of note - to a group of women in higher education across the state, then at a workshop on teen pregnancy prevention.  We agree that, even though the Equal Pay Act was signed nearly 50 years ago, we are still far from being paid equally when our experience and education are the same.

Our work continues to be both to educate our community and stakeholders about issues like this, and to provide solutions to such problems.  Even more important, then, is our work teaching girls to advocate for themselves and be bold in asking for what they need, our work helping women become employed in "nontraditional" jobs that may pay higher wages, and our work in the corporate community to help leaders understand the reality and create workplaces that are more female- and family-friendly.

Simple things like flexible work schedules, onsite services such as ATMs or child care, and family medical leave will help keep women in the workplace as a skilled talent pool.  And these are the types of workplace benefits new young professionals should request as they seek careers.

Chrysalis Receives Friends of Iowa Civil Rights Award

Today, Chrysalis was honored to receive the Friends of Iowa Civil Rights Award at a special luncheon event.  On behalf of the Board and staff, we expressed our gratitude to Friends for this recognition.

Terry Hernandez shared the following comments.  We hope this again refreshes your knowledge of our work, and its critical importance.

IN THINKING ABOUT THE DEFINITION OF “CIVIL RIGHTS,” IT’S MEANING APPLIES TO PERSONAL FREEDOMS THAT BELONG TO EACH INDIVIDUAL BECAUSE OF HER OR HIS STATUS AS A CITIZEN.

SO EACH OF YOU MAY KNOW THAT FOR CHRYSALIS, THE CITIZENS WE REPRESENT ARE JUST OVER 51% OF THE GREATER DES MOINES POPULATION – WOMEN AND GIRLS.  WE LIKE TO THINK OF CHRYSALIS AND ITS WORK AS INSERTING THE “VOICE OF GIRLS AND WOMEN” IN ALL CONVERSATIONS – PUBLIC, PRIVATE, AND PERSONAL.

AMONG THE RIGHTS WE WORK TO PROTECT FOR GIRLS AND WOMEN ARE:

­  THE RIGHT TO EQUAL PROTECTION UNDER THE LAW

­  PROTECTION FROM DISCRIMINATION

­  THE RIGHT FOR JUSTICE – MORAL RIGHTNESS, ETHICS, EQUALITY – TO GIVE GIRLS AND WOMEN WHAT THEY DESERVE

AND MAY ALSO KNOW THAT THESE RIGHTS ARE NOT ALWAYS “PROTECTED” IN TODAY’S SOCIETY.

OF COURSE I CAN TELL YOU THAT WOMEN STILL EARN ONLY 79% OF WHAT MEN EARN – WHEN ALL FACTORS ARE EQUAL AND THE LAW STATES OTHERWISE;

I CAN TELL YOU THAT ONLY 21% OF OUR STATE LEGISLATURE IS FEMALE – SO THE VOICE OF WOMEN AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF DECISION-MAKING IN IOWA IS NOT EQUALLY REPRESENTED;

AND I CAN TELL YOU THAT ALTHOUGH 75% OF IOWA TEACHERS ARE WOMEN, ONLY 14% OF SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENTS ARE WOMEN.

BUT THESE ARE THINGS YOU ALREADY KNOW –

AND SO THAT YOU CAN RELATE TO WHY THE WORK OF CHRYSALIS IS SO IMPORTANT, I ASK YOU TO PUT YOURSELF INTO THE SHOES OF AN “AVERAGE” IOWA GIRL OR WOMAN –

­  FROM AN EARLY AGE, YOU’VE LEARNED THAT YOUR BODY ISN’T ATTRACTIVE UNLESS YOU ARE THIN ENOUGH, BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH, OR SEXY ENOUGH --

­  YOU ARE OFTEN CONSIDERED LESS INTELLIGENT AND COMPETENT BY TEACHERS, EMPLOYERS, AND OTHERS IN AUTHORITY --

­  YOU ARE EXPECTED TO DEFER TO MEN’S DECISIONS ABOUT MOST THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT --

­  YOU ARE EXPECTED TO GIVE SEXUAL FAVORS TO BE ACCEPTED OR TO “GET AHEAD” --

­  YOU HAVE TO WORK HARDER, LONGER, AND FOR LESS PAY THAN A MAN – OR IF YOU CHOOSE TO STAY HOME AND RAISE YOUR CHILDREN, YOU WILL BE SEEN AS LESS MOTIVATED OR “PROMOTABLE” –

­  YOU WILL WORRY ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE RATHER THAN COUNTING ON GENEROUS CORPORATE RETIREMENT PACKAGES OFTEN BESTOWED ON CORPORATE LEADERS --

­  AND ONCE YOU ARE “A CERTAIN AGE” – YOU WILL REALIZE THAT TO MOST OF SOCIETY, YOU’RE “OVER THE HILL” – INADEQUATE, LESS ATTRACTIVE, AND LESS COMPETENT.

SO NOW YOU SEE WHY THE WORK OF CHRYSALIS IS SO CRITICAL –

­  WE TEACH GIRLS TO BE CONFIDENT, STRONG, AND RESLIENT

­  WE HELP WOMEN LEARN NOT TO ACCEPT THE STEREOTYPES

­  WE EDUCATE YOU AND OTHERS ABOUT THE VALUE AND STRENGTH GIRLS AND WOMEN BRING TO SOCIETY

­  AND WE PROVE THAT WHEN WOMEN ARE SUCCESSFUL, WHEN WOMEN ARE IN LEADERSHIP POSITIONS, MORE RESOURCES RETURN TO THE COMMUNITY, BUSINESS SUCCESS IMPROVES, AND THERE IS TRUE IMPROVEMENT IN SOCIETY’S WELL-BEING

WE WORK TOWARD THE DAY THAT WE CAN RETIRE THE WORD “FEMINISM” BECAUSE WOMEN AND MEN ARE EQUALLY RECOGNIZED AND RESPECTED.

AND WE WORK TOWARD THE DAY WHEN ANTI-GAY, ANTI-JEW, ANTI-BLACK, AND ANTI-FEMALE – ALL THESE TYPES OF DISCRIMINATION THAT RESULT IN ANTI-HUMANISM – AREN’T EVEN A MEMORY – THIS IS OUR WORK TO ENSURE CIVIL RIGHTS, AND WE ARE HONORED TO DO IT.

Understanding Gender Equity

More often than not, when we work toward gender equity, we often focus strongly on teaching girls and women how to grow resilient and confident - able to work toward their own parity.  I'm proud that at Chrysalis, we realized that our work is critical to boys and men, and that we now have 2 terrific men (thanks, Joe and Drew!) moving our agenda forward.
For boys and young men, there are sound messages to share about why gender equality is so important:
1.  When men and boys believe in fairness, they can see that their sisters, mothers, girlfriends, and other female friends and relatives are often not treated the same way they are, and perhaps do not have the same opportunities and choices in their lives.
2.  An understanding of equity will help boys be comfortable in their own identity, comfortable expressing emotions, and able to build positive relationships based on mutual trust and respect.
3.  Equality of genders is about a more productive way of viewing power in relationships that benefit both sexes.
Gender equality truly begins in the family, and the father's role is tremendously important, not only to his daughter, but to a son.  Fathers who take part in domestic work, values and supports his children equally, hugs sons and daughters, and treats his wife as an equal will have a significant effect on how his son treats his own family.  Research has shown that:
- Men who are positively involved in the lives of their children or stepchildren are less likely to be depressed or violent.
- Boys whose fathers are more involved are less likely to engage in risky behaviors and are more likely to delay sexual experimentation until they are older.
- Boys with positive role models are less likely to hold harmful stereotypes and more likely to notice and question unfairness and inequity.
- An international study found that 14-year-old adolescents boys who are well connected to their parents, feel understood and cared for, and get along with their parents have more social connectedness and are less likely to be depressed.
So how to be certain that boys grow up with a sense of gender equity?  UNICEF recommends a 6-point plan:
1.  Start young - preschool education should promote equality between girls and boys and involve parents.
2.  School curricula should challenge stereotypes and acknowledge differences.
3.  Boys and girls should both participate in age-appropriate sex education.
4.  Schools must be made safe for both girls and boys.
5.  Campaigns against discrimination should involve men and boys as well as girls and women.
6.  Policies and laws should allow for and promote active participation of both parents in the lives of their children.
Although Chrysalis funding is committed to the needs of girls and women, our efforts are strong to educate and involve men in the critical work of eliminating stereotypes and promoting fairness and equity between all.  

Abduction

The last paragraph in the book HALF THE SKY by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn reads:

The tide of history is turning women from beasts of burden and sexual playthings into full-fledged human beings.  The economic advantages of empowering women are so vast as to persuade nations to move in that direction.  Before long, we will consider sex slavery, honor killings, and acid attacks as unfathomable as foot-binding.  The question is how long that transformation will take and how many girls will be kidnapped into brothels before it is complete - and whether each of us will be part of that historical movement or a bystander.

This coming week, tune in to PBS for a 2-part series based on the book.  Being broadcast this week, the series presents women and girls living under some of the most horrible circumstances imaginable -- and fighting to change them.   The series was filmed in 10 countries: Cambodia, Kenya, India, Sierra Leone, Somaliland, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Liberia and the United States.

HALF THE SKY is the book that first profiled the Chrysalis INSPIRED 2012 Event speaker, Dr. Tererai Trent.  In her keynote address, Dr. Trent pointed out some of the shocking statistics occuring today across the world - girls and women subjected to honor killings or genital mutilation, girls sold for slavery and prostitution, women raped and beaten, women and babies dying in childbirth - females considered less worthy than the males they served or the animals they raised.  Hundreds of thousands simply disappearing from their families, never again to be seen. 

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Although we not believe that these issues occur in the United States, we need only remember the case of Jaycee Dugard to recall that girls our country, and all over the world, are missing.  Boys, too, particularly in Europe and America, disappear without a trace.  The numbers can only be estimates; The National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway and Throwaway Children created a report attempting to count.  It estimates that 800,000 children under age 18 to missing each year in the United States - that's roughly 2,000 each day.

The report notes that of this number, an estimated 200,000 are taken by family members, 58,000 by non-family members, and up to 300 are simply kidnapped by a stranger.  Another 3-4,000 are abducted, sexually assaulted, and released.  Only 90% of the 800,000 children are found, leaving 8-10,000 who are never found.  The most dangerous age for girls' abductions is said to be around 11 years old - and experts report that the abductor typically contacts a victim within half mile of her home.  Walking to school, at a bus stop, or in the shopping mall are common sites. 

Perhaps most alarming, the internet can be one of the first sites an abductor or predator will use to identify potential victims.  95% of US teens, ages 12-17, are online, and nearly 60% of 12-year-olds have cell phones, which are even more difficult for adults to monitor.  Cyberbullying, revealing too much personal information, exposure to inappropriate websites and materials, and online predators are tremendous risks to children and youth. 

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has created "NetSmartz," a program for parents, educators, and law enforcement to use in working with children using the internet.  The program notes that to keep children safe online, it's important to know a few vulnerabilities that may make children more susceptible to online predators:

Curiosity - Children are naturally curious - about risky behaviors, forbidden substances, and sex.  Predators can guide this curiosity, gradually luring children into sexual activity.  Adolescents are at high risk, as they go online with questions about sexuality or with the intent to find friends and companions.  Predators take advantage of this vulnerability.

Need for Attention - Even children who receive lots of attention from their families can crave it from others, especially those who they perceive as more mature.  Predators offer children affection and flattery in order to coerce them.

Rebellion - Often children become rebellious when they become adolescents, and predators can use this to an advantage.  Children who may be victimized when disobeying family or parent rules will be afraid to admit it.

Respect for Adults - Because children are taught to respect and obey adults, they may be less likely to disobey a direction given by an adult - even if it is a stranger, or even if it makes them uncomfortable.

In response to these issues, The Center launched the CyberTipline in 1998 in partnership with the FBI, Department of Homeland Security, US Postal Service, Secret Service, Department of Justice, and international, state, and local law enforcement.  The line provides a means of reporting incidents of child sexual exploitation of any kind, and is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  If you would like more information, check the website: cybertipline.com, or call 1-800-843-5678.

As part of our mandatory training for Chrysalis After-School program leaders, we'll share more comprehensive education related to internet safety, cyberbulling, and appropriate use of the web.  In this way, we hope over 600 girls in this year's program will be aware and safe from this danger.

Remarks from Terry Hernandez's Women of Influence Acceptance

According to Webster, INFLUENCE means power, persuasion, inspiration, affecting change.

I believe that this is the basis for all we are in this world. It's about relationships. And it's about sharing “me” and all the mysterious, odd, frustrating, delightful things that make me me.

I guess it took me 40 to 50 years to unlearn what I thought I knew about me –

·          as a girl growing up, I knew how to cover up pimples, how to avoid folding the clothes or cleaning my room, how to be “cool” –

·          as a woman, I knew how to shade my long nose with blush, hide cellulite, keep my mouth shut and know my place –

…how many women can you think of that, like me, knew they would never be president; knew they would never make as much money or have as much “clout” as a man; knew they would never be as thin, pretty, tall, or glamorous as they’d hope; knew how to feel guilty about choosing to raise a family instead of running a company…

I am so fortunate to do the work of Chrysalis, which is all about influence – it is about inspiring and encouraging – it’s about helping girls and women unlearn what they may know:

·          to teach girls to be themselves instead of worrying about what the media – or their peers – say they should be…

·          to teach young women to reject the notion that to be liked and accepted, they have to look and act like Britney Spears, Lady Gaga or (in my day) Madonna…

·          to help other women understand they are not objects and will not be treated as such…

·          to help girls and women celebrate their strengths rather than focusing on their weaknesses.

I’ve found in our work that the more limited the financial resources, the more abundant and creative the human resources are.

We say the work of Chrysalis is to “inspire to aspire” – it’s all about influence, and it’s been on our radar for decades. It continues to lead each of us to influence – to make change. And change is certainly not difficult if you are open to it.

So, here are my suggestions to you to continue to be a person of influence: treat people kindly, pay attention, respect others, offer assistance, ask for help, do good deeds, practice solid values, be a good friend, listen-listen-listen, volunteer in the community, and mentor the next generation.

Don’t just follow the rules.  Follow your heart.

I'm grateful to continue this important work and appreciate the passion we all share.

The Rest of the Story...

During her visit, Dr. Trent shared many stories about the extreme challenges she faced to achieve her goal of completing an education.  Since there was so much to be told, I want to share with you more of the remarkable story of her life, as blogged by NY Times Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, Nicholas Kristof.  As they say, here is “the rest of the story:”

November 15, 2009

Op-Ed Columnist

Triumph of a Dreamer

By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

Any time anyone tells you that a dream is impossible, any time you’re discouraged by impossible challenges, just mutter this mantra: Tererai Trent.

Of all the people earning university degrees this year, perhaps the most remarkable story belongs to Tererai (pronounced TEH-reh-rye), a middle-aged woman who is one of my heroes. She is celebrating a personal triumph, but she’s also a monument to the aid organizations and individuals who helped her. When you hear that foreign-aid groups just squander money or build dependency, remember that by all odds Tererai should be an illiterate, battered cattle-herd in Zimbabwe and instead — ah, but I’m getting ahead of my story.

Tererai was born in a village in rural Zimbabwe, probably sometime in 1965, and attended elementary school for less than one year. Her father married her off when she was about 11 to a man who beat her regularly. She seemed destined to be one more squandered African asset.

A dozen years passed. Jo Luck, the head of an aid group called Heifer International, passed through the village and told the women there that they should stand up, nurture dreams, change their lives.

Inspired, Tererai scribbled down four absurd goals based on accomplishments she had vaguely heard of among famous Africans. She wrote that she wanted to study abroad, and to earn a B.A., a master’s and a doctorate.

Tererai began to work for Heifer and several Christian organizations as a community organizer. She used the income to take correspondence courses, while saving every penny she could.

In 1998 she was accepted to Oklahoma State University, but she insisted on taking all five of her children with her rather than leave them with her husband. “I couldn’t abandon my kids,” she recalled. “I knew that they might end up getting married off.”

Tererai’s husband eventually agreed that she could take the children to America — as long as he went too. Heifer helped with the plane tickets, Tererai’s mother sold a cow, and neighbors sold goats to help raise money. With $4,000 in cash wrapped in a stocking and tied around her waist, Tererai set off for Oklahoma.

An impossible dream had come true, but it soon looked like a nightmare. Tererai and her family had little money and lived in a ramshackle trailer, shivering and hungry. Her husband refused to do any housework — he was a man! — and coped by beating her.

“There was very little food,” she said. “The kids would come home from school, and they would be hungry.” Tererai found herself eating from trash cans, and she thought about quitting — but felt that doing so would let down other African women.

“I knew that I was getting an opportunity that other women were dying to get,” she recalled. So she struggled on, holding several jobs, taking every class she could, washing and scrubbing, enduring beatings, barely sleeping.

At one point the university tried to expel Tererai for falling behind on tuition payments. A university official, Ron Beer, intervened on her behalf and rallied the faculty and community behind her with donations and support.

“I saw that she had enormous talent,” Dr. Beer said. His church helped with food, Habitat for Humanity provided housing, and a friend at Wal-Mart carefully put expired fruits and vegetables in boxes beside the Dumpster and tipped her off.

Soon afterward, Tererai had her husband deported back to Zimbabwe for beating her, and she earned her B.A. — and started on her M.A. Then her husband returned, now frail and sick with a disease that turned out to be AIDS. Tererai tested negative for H.I.V., and then — feeling sorry for her husband — she took in her former tormentor and nursed him as he grew sicker and eventually died.

Through all this blur of pressures, Tererai excelled at school, pursuing a Ph.D. at Western Michigan University and writing a dissertation on AIDS prevention in Africa even as she began working for Heifer as a program evaluator. On top of all that, she was remarried, to Mark Trent, a plant pathologist she had met at Oklahoma State.

Tererai is a reminder of the adage that talent is universal, while opportunity is not. There are still 75 million children who are not attending primary school around the world. We could educate them all for far less than the cost of the proposed military “surge” in Afghanistan.

Each time Tererai accomplished one of those goals that she had written long ago, she checked it off on that old, worn paper. Last month, she ticked off the very last goal, after successfully defending her dissertation. She’ll receive her Ph.D. next month, and so a one-time impoverished cattle-herd from Zimbabwe with less than a year of elementary school education will don academic robes and become Dr. Tererai Trent.

I am so proud to work with Chrysalis, and with leaders like each of you, as you share Dr. Trent’s belief in the power of girls and women.  Thank you for all you do.