Chrysalis Receives Friends of Iowa Civil Rights Award

Today, Chrysalis was honored to receive the Friends of Iowa Civil Rights Award at a special luncheon event.  On behalf of the Board and staff, we expressed our gratitude to Friends for this recognition.

Terry Hernandez shared the following comments.  We hope this again refreshes your knowledge of our work, and its critical importance.

IN THINKING ABOUT THE DEFINITION OF “CIVIL RIGHTS,” IT’S MEANING APPLIES TO PERSONAL FREEDOMS THAT BELONG TO EACH INDIVIDUAL BECAUSE OF HER OR HIS STATUS AS A CITIZEN.

SO EACH OF YOU MAY KNOW THAT FOR CHRYSALIS, THE CITIZENS WE REPRESENT ARE JUST OVER 51% OF THE GREATER DES MOINES POPULATION – WOMEN AND GIRLS.  WE LIKE TO THINK OF CHRYSALIS AND ITS WORK AS INSERTING THE “VOICE OF GIRLS AND WOMEN” IN ALL CONVERSATIONS – PUBLIC, PRIVATE, AND PERSONAL.

AMONG THE RIGHTS WE WORK TO PROTECT FOR GIRLS AND WOMEN ARE:

­  THE RIGHT TO EQUAL PROTECTION UNDER THE LAW

­  PROTECTION FROM DISCRIMINATION

­  THE RIGHT FOR JUSTICE – MORAL RIGHTNESS, ETHICS, EQUALITY – TO GIVE GIRLS AND WOMEN WHAT THEY DESERVE

AND MAY ALSO KNOW THAT THESE RIGHTS ARE NOT ALWAYS “PROTECTED” IN TODAY’S SOCIETY.

OF COURSE I CAN TELL YOU THAT WOMEN STILL EARN ONLY 79% OF WHAT MEN EARN – WHEN ALL FACTORS ARE EQUAL AND THE LAW STATES OTHERWISE;

I CAN TELL YOU THAT ONLY 21% OF OUR STATE LEGISLATURE IS FEMALE – SO THE VOICE OF WOMEN AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF DECISION-MAKING IN IOWA IS NOT EQUALLY REPRESENTED;

AND I CAN TELL YOU THAT ALTHOUGH 75% OF IOWA TEACHERS ARE WOMEN, ONLY 14% OF SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENTS ARE WOMEN.

BUT THESE ARE THINGS YOU ALREADY KNOW –

AND SO THAT YOU CAN RELATE TO WHY THE WORK OF CHRYSALIS IS SO IMPORTANT, I ASK YOU TO PUT YOURSELF INTO THE SHOES OF AN “AVERAGE” IOWA GIRL OR WOMAN –

­  FROM AN EARLY AGE, YOU’VE LEARNED THAT YOUR BODY ISN’T ATTRACTIVE UNLESS YOU ARE THIN ENOUGH, BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH, OR SEXY ENOUGH --

­  YOU ARE OFTEN CONSIDERED LESS INTELLIGENT AND COMPETENT BY TEACHERS, EMPLOYERS, AND OTHERS IN AUTHORITY --

­  YOU ARE EXPECTED TO DEFER TO MEN’S DECISIONS ABOUT MOST THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT --

­  YOU ARE EXPECTED TO GIVE SEXUAL FAVORS TO BE ACCEPTED OR TO “GET AHEAD” --

­  YOU HAVE TO WORK HARDER, LONGER, AND FOR LESS PAY THAN A MAN – OR IF YOU CHOOSE TO STAY HOME AND RAISE YOUR CHILDREN, YOU WILL BE SEEN AS LESS MOTIVATED OR “PROMOTABLE” –

­  YOU WILL WORRY ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE RATHER THAN COUNTING ON GENEROUS CORPORATE RETIREMENT PACKAGES OFTEN BESTOWED ON CORPORATE LEADERS --

­  AND ONCE YOU ARE “A CERTAIN AGE” – YOU WILL REALIZE THAT TO MOST OF SOCIETY, YOU’RE “OVER THE HILL” – INADEQUATE, LESS ATTRACTIVE, AND LESS COMPETENT.

SO NOW YOU SEE WHY THE WORK OF CHRYSALIS IS SO CRITICAL –

­  WE TEACH GIRLS TO BE CONFIDENT, STRONG, AND RESLIENT

­  WE HELP WOMEN LEARN NOT TO ACCEPT THE STEREOTYPES

­  WE EDUCATE YOU AND OTHERS ABOUT THE VALUE AND STRENGTH GIRLS AND WOMEN BRING TO SOCIETY

­  AND WE PROVE THAT WHEN WOMEN ARE SUCCESSFUL, WHEN WOMEN ARE IN LEADERSHIP POSITIONS, MORE RESOURCES RETURN TO THE COMMUNITY, BUSINESS SUCCESS IMPROVES, AND THERE IS TRUE IMPROVEMENT IN SOCIETY’S WELL-BEING

WE WORK TOWARD THE DAY THAT WE CAN RETIRE THE WORD “FEMINISM” BECAUSE WOMEN AND MEN ARE EQUALLY RECOGNIZED AND RESPECTED.

AND WE WORK TOWARD THE DAY WHEN ANTI-GAY, ANTI-JEW, ANTI-BLACK, AND ANTI-FEMALE – ALL THESE TYPES OF DISCRIMINATION THAT RESULT IN ANTI-HUMANISM – AREN’T EVEN A MEMORY – THIS IS OUR WORK TO ENSURE CIVIL RIGHTS, AND WE ARE HONORED TO DO IT.

Understanding Gender Equity

More often than not, when we work toward gender equity, we often focus strongly on teaching girls and women how to grow resilient and confident - able to work toward their own parity.  I'm proud that at Chrysalis, we realized that our work is critical to boys and men, and that we now have 2 terrific men (thanks, Joe and Drew!) moving our agenda forward.
For boys and young men, there are sound messages to share about why gender equality is so important:
1.  When men and boys believe in fairness, they can see that their sisters, mothers, girlfriends, and other female friends and relatives are often not treated the same way they are, and perhaps do not have the same opportunities and choices in their lives.
2.  An understanding of equity will help boys be comfortable in their own identity, comfortable expressing emotions, and able to build positive relationships based on mutual trust and respect.
3.  Equality of genders is about a more productive way of viewing power in relationships that benefit both sexes.
Gender equality truly begins in the family, and the father's role is tremendously important, not only to his daughter, but to a son.  Fathers who take part in domestic work, values and supports his children equally, hugs sons and daughters, and treats his wife as an equal will have a significant effect on how his son treats his own family.  Research has shown that:
- Men who are positively involved in the lives of their children or stepchildren are less likely to be depressed or violent.
- Boys whose fathers are more involved are less likely to engage in risky behaviors and are more likely to delay sexual experimentation until they are older.
- Boys with positive role models are less likely to hold harmful stereotypes and more likely to notice and question unfairness and inequity.
- An international study found that 14-year-old adolescents boys who are well connected to their parents, feel understood and cared for, and get along with their parents have more social connectedness and are less likely to be depressed.
So how to be certain that boys grow up with a sense of gender equity?  UNICEF recommends a 6-point plan:
1.  Start young - preschool education should promote equality between girls and boys and involve parents.
2.  School curricula should challenge stereotypes and acknowledge differences.
3.  Boys and girls should both participate in age-appropriate sex education.
4.  Schools must be made safe for both girls and boys.
5.  Campaigns against discrimination should involve men and boys as well as girls and women.
6.  Policies and laws should allow for and promote active participation of both parents in the lives of their children.
Although Chrysalis funding is committed to the needs of girls and women, our efforts are strong to educate and involve men in the critical work of eliminating stereotypes and promoting fairness and equity between all.  

Abduction

The last paragraph in the book HALF THE SKY by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn reads:

The tide of history is turning women from beasts of burden and sexual playthings into full-fledged human beings.  The economic advantages of empowering women are so vast as to persuade nations to move in that direction.  Before long, we will consider sex slavery, honor killings, and acid attacks as unfathomable as foot-binding.  The question is how long that transformation will take and how many girls will be kidnapped into brothels before it is complete - and whether each of us will be part of that historical movement or a bystander.

This coming week, tune in to PBS for a 2-part series based on the book.  Being broadcast this week, the series presents women and girls living under some of the most horrible circumstances imaginable -- and fighting to change them.   The series was filmed in 10 countries: Cambodia, Kenya, India, Sierra Leone, Somaliland, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Liberia and the United States.

HALF THE SKY is the book that first profiled the Chrysalis INSPIRED 2012 Event speaker, Dr. Tererai Trent.  In her keynote address, Dr. Trent pointed out some of the shocking statistics occuring today across the world - girls and women subjected to honor killings or genital mutilation, girls sold for slavery and prostitution, women raped and beaten, women and babies dying in childbirth - females considered less worthy than the males they served or the animals they raised.  Hundreds of thousands simply disappearing from their families, never again to be seen. 

______

Although we not believe that these issues occur in the United States, we need only remember the case of Jaycee Dugard to recall that girls our country, and all over the world, are missing.  Boys, too, particularly in Europe and America, disappear without a trace.  The numbers can only be estimates; The National Incidence Studies of Missing, Abducted, Runaway and Throwaway Children created a report attempting to count.  It estimates that 800,000 children under age 18 to missing each year in the United States - that's roughly 2,000 each day.

The report notes that of this number, an estimated 200,000 are taken by family members, 58,000 by non-family members, and up to 300 are simply kidnapped by a stranger.  Another 3-4,000 are abducted, sexually assaulted, and released.  Only 90% of the 800,000 children are found, leaving 8-10,000 who are never found.  The most dangerous age for girls' abductions is said to be around 11 years old - and experts report that the abductor typically contacts a victim within half mile of her home.  Walking to school, at a bus stop, or in the shopping mall are common sites. 

Perhaps most alarming, the internet can be one of the first sites an abductor or predator will use to identify potential victims.  95% of US teens, ages 12-17, are online, and nearly 60% of 12-year-olds have cell phones, which are even more difficult for adults to monitor.  Cyberbullying, revealing too much personal information, exposure to inappropriate websites and materials, and online predators are tremendous risks to children and youth. 

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has created "NetSmartz," a program for parents, educators, and law enforcement to use in working with children using the internet.  The program notes that to keep children safe online, it's important to know a few vulnerabilities that may make children more susceptible to online predators:

Curiosity - Children are naturally curious - about risky behaviors, forbidden substances, and sex.  Predators can guide this curiosity, gradually luring children into sexual activity.  Adolescents are at high risk, as they go online with questions about sexuality or with the intent to find friends and companions.  Predators take advantage of this vulnerability.

Need for Attention - Even children who receive lots of attention from their families can crave it from others, especially those who they perceive as more mature.  Predators offer children affection and flattery in order to coerce them.

Rebellion - Often children become rebellious when they become adolescents, and predators can use this to an advantage.  Children who may be victimized when disobeying family or parent rules will be afraid to admit it.

Respect for Adults - Because children are taught to respect and obey adults, they may be less likely to disobey a direction given by an adult - even if it is a stranger, or even if it makes them uncomfortable.

In response to these issues, The Center launched the CyberTipline in 1998 in partnership with the FBI, Department of Homeland Security, US Postal Service, Secret Service, Department of Justice, and international, state, and local law enforcement.  The line provides a means of reporting incidents of child sexual exploitation of any kind, and is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  If you would like more information, check the website: cybertipline.com, or call 1-800-843-5678.

As part of our mandatory training for Chrysalis After-School program leaders, we'll share more comprehensive education related to internet safety, cyberbulling, and appropriate use of the web.  In this way, we hope over 600 girls in this year's program will be aware and safe from this danger.